"Have you read The Artist's Way?!"
If you've ever talked to me, I've probably asked you that question with an over-eager grin on my face and giant lightbulb eyes. If so, feel free to skip the rest of the paragraph where I explain that The Artist's Way is a book by Julia Cameron that serves as a practical and spiritual guide to unblocking creatively. When I first read it four years ago, I was working a full-time as a pediatric occupational therapist and splitting my free time between doing improv, trying to be the perfect girlfriend, and micromanaging my eating and exercise to loose 5 more pounds. The Artist's Way helped me begin to loosen my tight grasp on my over-structured, under-enjoyed life. I realized that my inner voice sounded more like a disappointed, anxious parent than a playful, creative child. Radical thoughts occurred to me, like "Maybe I don't have to be so hard on myself" and "You can do things because they are fun."
The Artist's Way was the thing I needed to read at the time I needed to read it. I'm almost always elbow deep in a new "Self-Help" book that is completely changing the way I view life. I am aware of how ridiculous that sounds. Maybe you, like my inner-critic, are thinking, "Clearly none of these 'Self-Help' books have done their job, because you keep seeking out more of them. You haven't been fixed yet!" Good point, inner-critic. I kind of hate the genre title "Self-Help" because it implies that we are broken and in need of fixing. I think we should call them "Coming Alive" books. They came into being because someone had a life-realization that was so powerful they realized it would be selfish to keep it to themselves. Even if all of these books say same thing in different words, it's inspiring to read a person's unique tellings of how they learned to come alive. You can always tell when it's a heartfelt rendering of life-wisdom (like The Artist's Way) or a ploy to make more money off of the original idea (like Walking in This World, Julia Cameron's second book which I didn't enjoy as much. Sorry Julia. It still has a super decent Amazon rating!)
Since most of my sentences start with, "I'm reading this book...," I figured it'd be appropriate to make my first (in a long time) blog post a "works cited" page, because all of my own life wisdom is just a regurgitation of the life wisdom I've consumed from other people. An annotated bibliography is in order!
Here are the books that inspired me to create this blog listed in the order in which I reference/recommend/push them on people:
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
You've heard enough about this.
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Watch Liz's TED Talk and if you like it, do yourself a favor and read this book! It will inspire you to follow your curiosity and create the things the universe wants you to create.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Oh MAN this is a good read for a recovering perfectionist. It made me realize all of my pain and shame is caused by hiding myself and pretending like everything is "fine" and "great." Owning my story and shining a light on the dark parts of my life can free me from the power they have over me. This book is probably the reason I talk about my eating disorder so openly and the reason I made this blog. And don't worry you can try before you buy: here's Brené's TED Talk on the power of vulnerability.
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
Just finished this guy. So simple, so good. One of the 4 agreements (spoiler alert) is "don't take things personally." I'm working on this big time right now: trusting myself instead of looking for external praise or criticism for how I should be and feel. I want to be able to share my voice with the world without worrying about how it will be received--I don't need to get too excited about positive feedback or too down about negative feedback.
The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield
You just gotta show up and do the work, man. I recommend this to people who get intimidated by big books, because it's short and all the chapters are a page or two long. I also recommend it to people who would love The Artist's Way but need a man to tell them what to do. Ugh. (But it really is a good read!)
Surprise! by Tania Luna and LeeAnn Renninger
This is a fascinating read about harnessing the power of novelty, dealing with unexpected circumstances, and making an active effort to do new things to stimulate your brain. I read it a while ago and don't remember a lot of specifics, but I still talk about it authoritatively.
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
This book made me think about all the factors that contribute to my overall happiness. While Gretchen's happiness"resolution list" would probably trigger compulsive, perfectionist behaviors in me if I tried to replicate it, one of my biggest realizations from this book is that I am happiest when I am in an atmosphere of growth.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous by someone who wishes to remain anonymous
Working the steps in Overeater's Anonymous (I know, I'm more of an Overeater Attention-seeker) completely transformed the way I view life and helped me see my part in the resentments and fears I hold, so we're popping it on the list!
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
Apparently "intuitive eating" is how normal people eat?! You just listen to your body's cues for hunger and satiety and then follow them?? WHAT?! I'm actively learning how to make peace with food, trust my body, and let go of trying to control every aspect of my life. This book is helping me a lot and I'll probably reference it a bunch!
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
I'm reading this RIGHT NOW! I can already tell it's a good one. It's about healing yourself with self-love and self-acceptance. More to come I'm sure.
Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
What a fearless memoir! I first heard about Glennon Doyle when she was a guest Liz Gilbert's podcast Magic Lessons. WHOA!! Upon retrieving that link, I realized that THE TITLE OF HER EPISODE IS "SHOW UP BEFORE YOU'RE READY." Thank goodness we got to the bottom of what inspired me to make this blog and call it "Showing Up Now"--it's totally Glennon Doyle and Elizabeth Gilbert and everything they talk about in this episode. (Also do yourself a favor and listen to Magic Lessons. Actually just search for Liz Gilbert's name on your podcast app and listen to every podcast she's ever been a guest on. Her voice is the voice of all creative wisdom and goodness. In my mind we are best friends. I hope that writing this isn't so creepy that it prevents us from actually becoming best friends some day.) Also, Glennon Doyle is a badass truth-teller warrior who I aspire to be like.
And there you have it! My verbose inaugural blog post slash research paper is concluded. I promise they won't all be this long, but some of them might! Above all, this is a place where I'm promising to show up every day (or most days...let's not put too much pressure on ourselves, Katie) as exactly who I am in that moment.
I'll leave you with the podcast episode that I listened to a year ago (almost exactly--September 23, 2016?!) and planted the inspiration seed to "show up before I'm ready." Thanks, Liz G!